Rantings of a Sleep Tech
Oct. 26th, 2008
Ugh I've been in such a fog for the last couple of weeks. I'm not sure if it's the job or my overall mind but I feel like I've been out of commission or just not there for a while now. It seems like all I do now is work or sleep...even on my days off I sleep so late that by the time I'm ready to do anything its already 8 o'clock. that could just be taken care of by messing with my schedule a bit, but it seems by the time I'm back to normal I've got to work one odd night with no other days close by. IDK.
I actually think part of this slump goes back to not talking to anyone, which in itself is still a wierd situation. I miss being around people, in general...the people I used to hang out with not so much(and even less so when I do see them again, except for a save few). Maybe I need to get out and make some new friends(when and how are the big questions though). I don't even look forward to going out anymore either.... everything feels like a chore now, even drinking.
I do think I'm going to use this whole nothing-whatsoever-to-do situation to get myself into some kind of schedule/regimen though. Like I said I just work and sleep so I need to do something else at least for the kick in the pants to get out of bed in the AM.
Something along the lines of....
1. Work out some meal schedule...1 meal a day is horrible for the body so I heard and am starting to feel. Breakfast(even at 4 in the afternoon), Lunch, Dinner and small snacks inbetween...funny now that I hardly eat this looks overwhelming.
2. Some kind of non-strength training excercise 3-5x a week.(Gym or not)
3. More normalized sleep schedule, this sleep til 5 on my days off is just not doing it for me anymore.
4. 2nd job.
5. Some kind of continuing education.
That should at least filly my days up with SOMETHING to do, I can now understand why people die when they retire(other than just being OLD)
Oct. 11th, 2008
Ughhh tense right now. Have to walk on glass(metaphorically, literally last night) while I'm at work now. My OM had to go ahead and place the seeds of self doubt(which I was already warned about from another employee...) in me. She said my biggest problem was her thinking I'm not able to do my job no matter the case(which goes back to me for calling her for equipment which SHOULD be at the site I work at but something is always short and you know who gets fucked over and has to do without for the night(or weekend in my case)). I can always use something else(most of the time) and it's not really a big deal but when you give someone the responsibility of a job, I'm sure you'd expect it to be done. If you're in charge of equipment you do what you can to make sure it's there...if you're in charge of the office you make sure the people under you do their job. Appearently business doesn't work this way. Fuck it.
There's just no communication. It seems like the higher ups could care less. It seems to me like I'm the only one at times taking this shit seriously. You're out of something let the OM know. Something broke? Let the OM know. That way the guy after you doesn't go without but appearently I'm the last fucking person left alive with that sentiment. I just wish people would do their share of the work. Just walking into the room and finding a mess makes me want to just leave everything the way I found it, but I can't do that because I give a shit about my job and care about the environment I work in, but appearantly I'm too young, according to my OM, to be doing this job. You know I'd like her to pick out 5 employess here that care or try as much as I do. You won't and you know why.... this is seeming more like a fly-by-night company more and more...hire a bunch of college kids with either no plan to stay in the field or a bunch of people happy to do bare minimum. This doesn't really matter to me so long as I can learn and build experience here I just wish their attitudes didn't reflect onto their care of the job.
I don't know what's going to go on but I feel like she gave me this month so she could train the newbies and give me the boot so they can go back to making $6,000 while paying the person doing the study $10 an hour and not have to hear how not paying attention affects the employees. Now that being said I'm going to continue to work hard and try to do my job right(er.....not a word but meh) but watch what happens in 1.5 months.
Oct. 4th, 2008
The ticket of Barnum and Bailey just got my vote because they are the only ones qualified to run this fucking circus in November.
Fucking $700 billion bailout. Let's see where some of this money is going shall we...
* Manufacturers of kids' wooden arrows - $6 million.
* Puerto Rican and Virgin Is- lands rum producers - $192 million.
* Wool research.
* Auto-racing tracks - $128 million.
* Corporations operating in American Samoa - $33 million.
* Small- to medium-budget film and television productions - $10 million.
* A $223 million package of tax benefits for fishermen and others whose livelihoods suffered as a result of the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill - has been the subject of fervent lobbying by Alaska's congressional delegation.
That should make my life easier now. Glad I can hardly pay my bills. Wasted fucking money.
Oct. 3rd, 2008
Ah as much as I may complain about it I'm never truly happy unless I'm at work. Sure I have my bad days but it seems like I'm always on such a high when I'm here. I sit at home and mope on my days off and lately I've been nipping those feelings in the butt with some activity so I think I'm starting to get a grip on things. If I can finally get ahold of my finances(oh so close) I should be good.
Don't know if I wrote this down or not but I've decided what I'm going to go to school for. Oddly enough respiritory therapy. The way I see it, it's a natural progression for me and I'm pretty sure I'm doing this backwards but I think this will be good for me. The ways it's going now I can get the Algebra 1&2 done by next summer and have all my pre-reqs. out of the way, I'll be able to take the time and study for my RPSGT exam too that summer before the program even starts so I'm going to at least get my Algebra done and make my final decision later on next year before the fall. Even if I do this I want to stay in sleep. Granted if I tire of sleep(HAH) I can always do some clinical work in the hospital and move my way back to sleep with (hopefully) the possibility of a managerial position somewhere. Plus I can always stay here while I'm in school but I'll be registered so any lab's cool...definately want to put my time in here though...they have been good to me and seems it should stay that way(at least for awhile). No reason I can't give them some years.
Whatever happens, things will work out in the end even if I'm doing something completely different as long as I love it as much as I love what I'm doing now.... I can't complain.
Sep. 26th, 2008
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